book review:

"the big book of pirates"

i give this book 5 stars out of 3. it is totally awesome. the first page has a fucking POP UP PIRATE SHIP. u open it and the pirateship fucking POPS UP. the only problem with that was i had to wipe the cum off the deck.

thats all i have to say about that.

insane

divine

my bio for adv pro

Words cannot adequately describt the total awesomenes that captain joe inspires. merely
looking at certain objects and people has been known to cause multiple orgasms, and the
magic of his presense inspires in equal measures fear, respect and dread. Joe is currently
studying Piracy and Piratical Dealings in murdoch university, as he is looking to further
his already supernatural buccanneer skills and be prepared for his ascencion to the throne
of the universe. Joe has had voluminous experience in the field of ass kickery and he once
scythed a bloody path of destruction through vegetarians and hippies just for fun. in fact
the path was scythed so bloodily that joe ended up in a small petting zoo, where his groin
repeatedly accidentally hit the rear ends of some goats. any video evidence or police statements/
court orders that say that joe could possibly have done these things on PURPOSE are obviously
malicious lies made by those who would rather not have joe rule the universe.

joe really does totally rock. and is intending to start his own church within a few years of
writing this bio. in time, joes power will undoubtedly expand and he will start consuming
various goths and other pseudo intellectuals just becuase he can. joe also has repeatedly won
many 'mr greatest person ever to be created in this or any time" awards and is more than willing
to accept homages and payments to his greatness in the form of cash, cheque or fullfrontal nudity.
also goats will be permitted. for eating. because. i mean what other uses do goats have? other
than.. to eat. GO SCREW YOURSELF YOU PERVERT.

i would just like to state that VEGETARIANS PISS ME OFF. always whacking off with they're "meat is murder" bullshit.

we were MEANT to eat meat retards.

"if u saw the animals being killed would u still eat it"

NO FUCKING SHIT> id choose the biggest one and get the tenderest steak.

obviously these animals are too stupid to be anyhtiong other than food otherwise they would have realised how fucking retarded it is to stay at the bottom of the food chain and fucking EVOLVE ALREADY

its been like 100 million years man. LIKE EVOLVE PAST YOUR FUCKING CUD CHEWING RETARDNESS< AND THEN MAYBE I"LL CONSIDER NOT EATING YOU. you mindless morons. cows were MEANT to be eaten. look at a freaking cow. its just screams "barbeque me". if cows werent meant to be eaten, would tenderloin steaks be part of they're freaking bodies? didnt fucking thing so. you dont see me having a goddamn SIRLOIN all over my body just BEGGING to be sauteed and have gravy poured upon do you? no. because im not meant to be eaten, and anyone that tries will have to deal with my beggar skill kick of doom.

didnt fucking think so.

having said that. most fucking human beings deserve to be eaten. by me. i think humans would do justice to a Dominos maniac pizza. like soylent meatballs or something. the person responsible for the nomination of humans to these ovens would be me, obviously. but no one would disagree. these bovine embarrasments to the human race would undoubtedly digest well, particulalry because they're CUD CHEWING DIPSHIT VEGENTARIANS.

JUST BECAUSE ITS ASIAN, THAT DOESNT MEAN IT CANT SUCK

nah man seriously, im sick shitless of all these Politically Correct motherfuckers. Grow a pair and fucking say it if something sucks man. so im sitting in class, and this dumb bitch pulls out some fucking terrible TERRIBLE godawful piece of writing, and everyone's like 'HOLY SHIT ITS SO CULTURAL, I AM TOTALLY COMING LIKE RIGHT NOW' when really all that was 'cultural' about it was bad grammar. Fuck that shit, am i the only one  in the world that realises its actually OK to REALISE SOMETHING BLOWS? its not fucking cultural. its AWFUL.

AND on another note. i hate ravers.